the streets of Leicester

Daiye 2: McKlatch Pimps his Bag
I remember that my dear dear friend Nosebleed would be alive and kicking in Kettering, if Kettering was being overtaken by zombies. at this stage, i do not know how large a scale this event is. Kettering could be fine, I’d hope it was.

So in Lesta, we’re all stocked up with meds, band aids, bandages and any weapons we could find or make in the house. we wish to exchange them for better things as we move on towards… no, not the Highcross Shopping Mall. where? well. i’ll get back to that.

I have no weapons in my room come to think of it. there’s a BBgun, but in a zombie overrun, meh. I’m good with my fists. meh. i think I’d just take a stick from my garden to start off with. hopefully I’ll bump into a machete or an AK47 later. Mikey has a Katana, nuff said. Ed, takes knives from the kitchen. we only have big knives, so this might work out. while arming up, we realize that none of us have ever killed a zombie before, i mean i clotheslined one. but that’s not quite the same. all yesterday evening we didn’t have to worry about it, there weren’t as many as there are today. o Mel is with us, i can mention her becos she’s a writer on this blog, we brought her back from the girls house (her housemates are not about, whoops). she takes a knife, i can’t picture her using it, but we go on.

In my bag i normally keep ma glasses, spare batteries, a flashlight, my journal, a pair of chopsticks and a teddog called Tinkerbell. I also carry hand sanitizing gel, i am washing my hands after every kill, T-Virus could spread like salmonella. i suddenly have an urge to pack razor wire and door wedges.

Speaking of, T-Virus, i’ll take a wild stab in the dark as to where the zombies came from. I’ve gathered from a top story on Digg that the undead are only in central England (comment: haha Britons are stupid, we got Paris Hilton so Zombies don’t attack us, only people with brains roflcopter!!!!!3!!!). the zombies came from the University of Leicester. you see De Montfort university is only small, we don’t have such academic subjects as medicine. But Lesta Uni do, in fact they have one of the largest medical student bases in England. if anyone was the cause of Zombies in this city, it’s the University of Leicester. we have to blow it up.

First thing, where are we going, knowing that we wont be heading back to the house. we need a place with everything in it. I’m thinking my church, Holy Trinity Church, it’s big, it has all the necessary facilities for public use. there are 4 entrances all with locking doors in case one or more get blocked. there’s a balcony for seeing before running, like a man with a head does. there are locking rooms in case anyone needs to be quarantined, in case… you know. plus we’re only so far from the city center if we need to buy (take) anything we don’t have. and another advantage is that we can get from this house to Holy T without passing any people gatherings, i often walk the route without bumping into anybody. plus on the way is the hospital, for medical goods we may need, and an oriental supermarket, for noodles.

Disadvantage tho, there’s no space for the rescue helicopter to land. besides I’m only choosing the church as a temporary location assuming we get rescued. before we go I’ll leave a note on the extremely slow internet, I’m sure it would be only a few hours before the internet stops entirely. first I’ll write a serious S.O.S. message on my blog, and then I’ll digg it, and get the others to digg it too. then I’ll email the police and a rich man, and a journalist stating that at midday in 2 days we will be waiting for a helicopter pickup on the roof of John Lewis. 2 days should be enough time to secure the building, and play the HighCross Shopping Mall!

The 4 of us, 3 strong Gentlemen and 1 fine Lady (same as ‘Left 4 Dead’ really), rock and roll up our street towards the church. not so much trying to kill zombies, but occasionally hitting one in the head and continuing to run. there’s still not enough of them to be concerned yet, well concerned is a funny word. we haven’t even checked on our other friends yet, our phones are dead! anywho i take a huge stockpile of noodles from that oriental supermarket, in a trolly, and we wheel on. only to find the doors are locked and breaking in means making an entrance for the enemy too.

its midday day two, 48 hours to pickup…
Watch this space for more. please leave comments!


HAHAHAaaa, this picture implies that the others survive in this story. thats toly not true. i have no idea how this ends. it’s like lost. except (spoiler alert) it will be over by friday. also, good tip, if you have long hair in a Zombie Attack, tie it up! Ed!
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