101st Blog Post: Best of January/Feburary 2007

Saturday 11:45
Woke up successfully after 19 and a half failed attempts.

Made up names for big brother:
Thomas Fluff
Tomato Schwarzenegger
Dave Nobkhed
Immaculate Pete
Imhotep Jones
Tesco Face
Blue Man
LadyPete Jones

John Edwards – His website crashed my browser (avoid voting for him)

it was in a fight it was. he kicked the back o’ me knee so dat ah fell over, then there was punchin’ kicken’, grabbin’ (not as good as it sounds), at one point he even put ‘is fingers in me nose and dragged me a yard or 2 across the floor.

It happened in a fight. I was kicked in the back of my knee such that i had fallen over, then i was punched, kicked, and handled in unspeakable ways. At one point, my opponent had lodged his fingers into my nostrils and dragged me roughly one meter across the ground.

p.s. i wasn’t actually in a fight

I also received a phone call from from my dear Quez, she does make me smile. even if i did mistake her for her sister when i answered the phone!

I got this Jacket in a store in downtown Toronto, for 6 $$$’s. frickin bargain that is, frickin bargain. it was as cheap as chips are!

My jacket is 12 days older than me and was worn by Fred Vanderhooft!

Another piece of the Chronological Arsenal is the Slow-Gun, this is similar to a shotgun in design, but it only fires solid slugs. these slugs will leave the barrel and travel towards the target at about 1.48 miles per hour. these can be seen traveling through the air but are sometimes not dodged by the receiver due to shock of seeing the slug traveling so impossibly slow in such a straight line through the air. however most victims of the Slow-gun are players who travel back or forward into time where the slug is arriving, where they receive it before they even know its there. these slug deal masses of damage, by laws of energy transfer, what they lack in speed, they make up in strength. there is also a Slow-Frag-Grenade.

Pacman is a yellow circle with a wedge taken out of him. he is a legendary figure in gaming history, and if he went on stage and stood in front of a microphone, he would be one of the greatest comedians ever seen with no eyes!

BALLHANDS!!!!! it does the same as the Combat Smacker, except its just two soft rubber balls doing what boxing gloves were made for. thump thump thump thump a member of the Tactical Weaponry Assault Time Team in the back of the head for long enough and you’ve got a pwnage point in the scoreboard!

The Special Edition of Combat Smack entitles the few lucky players to use 2 player skins which are unavailable to all other standard edition players. there is the Noble Offense Body for the Tactical Weaponry Assault Time Team. the Time Terrorist equivalent feature is Strategic Terrorism Unit for Procreating Intruding Developments.

me and Nosebleed decide to sit at the exam tables near the door, so that everybody who looks through the window will think the exam is still on. with our best exam faces, we convince the crowd that they are not allowed in the room. then we had to go, so we left and saw masses of our fellow students waiting for the exam to finish so that they can come in. PWN3D.

Our argument about the inside of an orange (b4 it’s peeled) continued last night after church. as ever, I am quite sure that it is void, not hollow, void! whereas, Nosebleed still thinks it’s just black! which is stupid! we were considering variables now, i’m willing to say that oranges in the northern hemisphere are void, where the southern ones are black. The younger Ansdell, in a slip up asked us whats inside oranges that are born! born? BORN? oranges are born? no, but if they were i would be willing to accept that they would be full of blood. but they’re not. “whats inside a banana?” she’s knows what’s inside a banana, i don’t know where all of her nonsense comes from!

I spent the whole school daiye doing graphics. and in that day i managed to produce a whole grandfather clock… which was 250mm high, but still a grandfather clock.

We exchanged winter season presents today! i gave NoseBleed a Titanium Spork! he got me a book called, and about, Great Sects! he knows i like the sects!

“… and how does McKlatch get the power to decide who is forgiven and who is not? This is unconsciously prejudiced.”
apparently i forgave someone!

i found a quote of myself saying: “i don’t think its right for ‘atheists’ to say that they are more open-minded because they won’t read the bible. this makes no sense!” <- damn right i was, when i was just a little boiye.

shoutout: if anybody has a dv camera i can borrow at various random times, please let me know. i am a qualified cameraperson (for i have hands)!

the internets survive in the form of a cool fluid that must be kept refrigerated. unfortunatly most of the internet’s fridges, including the one nearest to you right now, is probably warm inside. this is not good for the health of the internets, and something needs to be done.

eventually i saw some small hell spawn and i thought they were going to chew my face off, luckily they just possessed a scientist and i shot him in the face instead.

mummy just came in and gave me a pack of OREOS, i love my mummy.

shoutout: anyone else wishing to do something about this (Oreos, Grape Fanta, and Tab in the UK), please start an uprising and let me know so i can join. i’d do it myself but ms. Corke says i’m rly behind in DT

the cubed root of the speed of light multiplied by pi all to the power of three equals infinity plus nine

i have good reason to believe that the monster from Lost and Sylar from Heroes are the same dood. they make the same noise when they walk (clickclickclick) and they have the same evil stare.

next time you meet a Realtor, he might have a ‘most hated’ list with yours truly at the top! (if you’re looking for real estate and you are telepathic please let me know why).

I get Tim Horton’s cravings occasionally, now I’m not happy that they never opened (properly) in the land of heroes. i told Quezzie that if there was one around i would most definitely take her there. i want this to happen! if you can hear this, hear this: ooooooooooooooooooh Timothy!

i can go south on the piccadilly line to Holborn, and then transfer to the District line westbound and get off at 42nd street right where i can see times square. and y’know, because it’s important, from there i can grab a greyhound all the way to Canada to grab some Tim Horton’s.

I really want to go on a 10-99! take me to Tim Horton’s! i want the new cinnamon roll flavor coffee, i want a hot breakfast sandwich: Eggs, processed cheese, and my choice of bacon or pork sausage on a toasted homestyle biscuit. It’ll make my morning (<- might be a paraphrased quote from the official website). I want an ICED CAPP with a shot of raspberry for an extra 25 cents on a warm day. I want Tim Horton's!

Nova Scotia is probably the coolest name for a province ever!

A haiku:
I Love Tim Horton,
His Foodstuffs Are Amazing,
Give Me An Iced Capp,

‘expensive’ = i could buy porn for less and trade that with some kid for the DVD.
i definitely would not tho.

i am proud to be a conservative, i am proud, to want to let people live!

I like Starbucks, they do a dashing hazelnut flavor hot chocolate, i like to take one of those corrugated cardboard sleeves to hold my beverage in, and i always take another extra one as well, just for me to keep. sometimes i wear them on my arm. ‘Careful, the beverage you’re about to enjoy is extremely hot.’

all of my (7) email accounts feed straight into outlook where i can check them as the messages come in, hotmail however does not allow such a function, and in protest, i do not accept email messages through it without a prior phone call.

an American version of QI, check this for a lineup:
Host: Jon Stewart – not exactly for his fame of intelligence, but for his way of explaining things
regular contestant: (you know it’s coming) Steven Colbert – he will provide, for his nation
contestant 2: Demetri Martin – he probably has something funny to say stored up
contestant 3: Dane Cook – has a classy new-age humor, doesn’t require an audience of geniuses
contestant 4: Chris Rock – because the other 4 are white

‘yes, in fact this is the hottest my parry has ever been’
(the pro gets pwned by his parrying solicitor)
(in his dying breaths) Next…time……..Parry…Hotter!!!!!!1!!!!!'(the pro stops living)

Kids, do you wanna play a fun game? yes? then guess each others names backwards, its a lot of fun and you will not get divorced or anything.

look at my blog! it’s like internets!

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